Many people watch TV Shows for the pure entertainment of watching other people do silly or serious things sometimes missing the whole idea of what the show is really about. Yes, you still have those that watch TV, never taking a single thing away because they know it is just a TV show, so they say to themselves, “life is not that simple and nothing can be solved in 30 minutes.” While that may be true, the idea of TV Shows is to show situations compressed into shorter periods of time because the reality is, people never really say what is on their minds right away but instead over a period of time. We don’t watch shows because life is meant to be mirrored, we watch shows because we know the characters have to say what they are feeling and thinking in a short period of time in order to get their point across so the situation can resolve itself quickly.
For this reason, we see what trusted, true friendships actually look like in a compressed period of time. So I wanted to take a moment to share what the Golden Girls really are all about when it comes to the meaning of friendship.
The Value that Friends Provide
Friends are those people who come into our lives for a period of time never really knowing when they will exit out lives. The people who understand how to appreciate others for time spent together tend to share more moments, personal stories, and feelings with others. This is how friendships begin. It is not until the other person, who you have gotten to know (and they picking you to share their story with), makes an effort in their life to do something unselfish for you. When someone goes our of their way to do something nice for you like take you out to dinner, bake you a cake, not because it is your birthday, but because they know it will make you happy, these are the moments when a real friendship provides value.
Value is something that can only be derived from a subjective feeling of appreciation. Those feelings are not easy to come by with others and takes time to develop and earn from others. The truth about trust that people always underestimate is that, “it takes years to earn, but only seconds to destroy.” Rose is someone that showed the true honest meaning of “it is always better to give than to get.” She never expected anything in return for her hard work because she only thought of how much it would make the other person happy. In the Christmas episode when Dorothy talks about just picking one person to shop for instead of everyone Rose complained that it took away the fun of shopping for others. When you think in terms of each person on this planet given only a certain amount of time, any time a person offers to share their time with someone else means they have given up their time to be with someone instead of always doing things for themselves. It’s any wonder how Blanche ever had any real friends when all she ever thought about were men but her understanding towards “the girls” showed her that there are moments in life when you need to look past your own feelings and interests and realize that friendships are more important.
None of those girls knew each when they first moved in, and rare is the case that all roommates get along, but they all left best friends having shared some of the best moments in their lives together. The value those friendships provided goes beyond anything anyone ever expects from someone. This is part of the human nature of why so many people were drawn to this show in the first place, watching people who truly enjoyed each other’s company.
Creating Real Friendships
It is amazing how many people struggle with this concept. If you look at the number of people who spend their time along you begin to see that it is just easier to be alone than it is to make a mental and physical effort to do things for others. In the episode where the old lady across the street, Frieda Claxton, wants the tree cut down because she has no use for it, and the same for people. She even complained to Rose that she had no use for friends or people and that she liked living alone. No one said making friends was easy but somewhere from Elementary school, where making friends was as simple as both liking the same color, to high school, where personal interests bring people together, is where people get lost.
1. Look Past Your Own Interests and Needs
This for many people is very difficult, especially if they have been taught their own life to only worry about themselves. Many people do grow up believing that you should just worry about yourself and if someone wants to make friends with you then that is their own doing and then you might make an effort. It is very easy for people to get wrapped up in their selves all the time because who else do they have to think about? Well, when you learn how to make friends, you learn to think beyond your own needs.
Children who grow up in homes where they are discouraged from playing with other kids in the neighborhood and only at home tend to believe that there is nothing really out there for them to do. Their social skills diminish and they lose interest in making friends, this can lead to very bad psychological problems later on, all created by the parents. Rose’s childhood shows that she was always with friends, festivals, family events, and knew pretty much everyone in her town. To her, people everywhere were just friends waiting to be made because her childhood was one in which people wanted to make friends with others.
2. What you Do with Your Time Says Alot About You as a Person
Rose was always volunteering, going out to events, trying to get the girls to go with her to her favorite restaurant, and encouraging them to for all sorts of things. Whenever one of the girls had a problem made it a point to sit down and focus her attention solely on them. She may have been a nitwit when it comes to understanding everything about this world but Rose was a genius when it came to how she spent her time around people. She appreciated everything they said, even though she didn’t understand most of the hidden meaning, but also made time to listen.
Dorothy was a person that when you got her attention she knew that family and friends came first in life and Sofia understood that “if you can’t count on family, then who the hell can you count on?” Sofia always found ways to keep her time busy, and that says a lot for someone who is up in age because it is very easy to just say, “I’m old and tired and don’t want to do anything,” and just use that as an excuse to stay home. When you do that you limit your time around people and people, by nature, are social creatures so when you take that away you lose your social skills of making friends and getting to know other people.
If you want more friends, attend more social events and meet people. If you know your social skills are bad, read books on the art of fine talks and mingling and then go out and practice them. Staying at home does nothing but action does so how you spend your time says alot about your character, and age is no excuse because the reason why Golden Girls was so popular was because these old ladies still had the time of their life and never once used age as an excuse.
3. Do random acts of kindness for others
Buying an unexpected gift for someone can seem like a nice gesture and when it is done at the right time, its meaning can have a deep impact on others. It does amaze me when people are surprised at gifts I get them, and gift doesn’t have to be a physical item either in this case. When you give a gift, it shows you appreciate the person and that you are thinking about them. Remember, our time is limited on this planet so every minute of how you spend it says something about your character. This is why some of the best memories of friendships and relationships happen when two people, or groups of people, spend time talking and for many, just sitting together quietly can say a lot.
Here are some random acts you can do for others that show appreciation
– Offer to pick up an item for them that they requested
– Invite them to events
– Create your own personalized greeting card and give it to them
– Take them out to eat
– Find something that they been searching a long time for and give it to them
4. Get in the Habit of Remembering Names and things people say
The act of remembering someone’s name has a huge impact on a person because it shows you took the time to remember their name and who they are. It discredit’s someone’s efforts when a person has to constantly ask, every time they meet, what their name is. This happens a lot and it has an emotional effect on the person because it shows you just don’t care. The same goes for important events they talked with you about. When you make an effort to remember something someone has said it means a lot to the other person because it shows you made a valid effort to remember and care about it. That says a lot about your character and people like being around people who remember things they’ve said, why else would they have told you?
I got inspired to write this after catching a few wonderful episodes on TV the other day. Now that Hallmark has gone on it’s unending Christmas movie marathon, there are no more Golden Girls so when TV Land aired a few episodes I sat and looked past the plot lines and looked at what made these girls so likable and it was their friendship and appreciation for each other that stood out. People come and go, but it’s how you appreciate that person in-between that shows your true character. Rose treated everyone like they were a friendship waiting to happen. It’s true when they say that if you want to know the true character of someone, watch how they treat people they don’t know, because that shows how they really act with people in this world. People are expected to treat their family and kids nice, but how they treat others is a sign of who they really are underneath.